


The Purple Panty Predicament

by FeyduBois



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Comedy, Crack, F/M, Gen, Lingerie, M/M, Mystery, Panties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 03:43:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8355682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeyduBois/pseuds/FeyduBois
Summary: Hunk discovers a mysterious item while doing the laundry. The question is, whose are they?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Crack. Pure, unadulterated Voltron crack!fic. Light implied klance and shallura. Could probably use a beta-reading, I think my verb tenses slipped up a bit, but this isn't anything serious so... enjoy. :D

* * *

The Panty Predicament

The Paladin chore wheel was turned weekly (Altean weeks, so every 8 “days”).

Allura and Coran were already busy running the ship mechanically and apparently tending the algae garden which provided their food goo so they were exempt from these more menial tasks: dishes, laundry, sweeping/dusting, and the dreaded bathroom cleaning. There were five Paladins however, so the fifth had a rest week, although frequently they were co-opted by Coran for repairs. This week Hunk was on laundry. It wasn’t his favourite chore, but it could be worse: Keith was on bathroom duty this week.

Fortunately (or unfortunately?) for all the Paladins Altean cleaning technology was not too far from Earth’s. Hunk, however, was glad to note that the washer was also a dryer and it went from wash to dry automatically. Futuristic technology, as advanced as it was, still had not solved the fact that some clothing articles could not be exposed to extreme heat, or even harsh washing. There was a side compartment inside of the washer for these items instead. It washed on a gentle cycle using the same water as the main wash (much more efficient than doing a separate small load) and popped open on its own so these items could be hung up. Hunk hummed to himself as he fished these items out and began pining them to the magnetic pole than spanned the top of the laundry room. There were Keith’s spare gloves, Pidge’s sports bra, Lance’s satin underwear, and a long-sleeved sweater Shiro insisted would shrink in the drier. These Hunk hung up as usual, realizing as he put up the sweater that there was something clinging to it. Something bright and lacy. He peeled it off. Panties.

Bright purple lace panties, not thong, but cut high up the ass with a seam going straight down the centre, and cut with a triangle in the back where a bit of ribbon tied into a bow held them together just above the ass. Hunk blushed immediately at the racy undergarment. Whose were these?! Pidge? Allura? Shiro? He had to admit that Shiro was the best fit for them, not that he was an expert on sizing undergarments. He hung them up to dry with the rest, determined to figure it out later when he came back.

* * *

Hunk had pondered, but not for too long; he assumed the panties must belong to Allura although Pidge was a possibility, they weren’t really her style. He felt less embarrassed asking Pidge, but even more about asking Allura. With the rest of her laundry in a pile in his arms he knocked on Pidge’s bedroom door.

“Come in,” she called. Hunk carefully entered the disaster zone that was Pidge’s room, stepping over machine bits, dirty dishes, books, and what looked like a petri dish of mushrooms. The kid was a freaking packrat.

Hunk placed Pidge’s clothes on the only clean spot at the foot of her bed. “I just brought your laundry.” 

“Thank you,” she didn’t even look up from the busted Altea machine she was fiddling with.

“Hey Pidge?”

“Yeah?”

“I need to ask… I mean, they probably aren’t, but are these yours?” he held up the scandalous lace panties. Pidge looked at them, shoving her glasses up her nose to get a better look.

“Nope. They must be Allura’s.”

“Should I… like… bring them to her? Coran usually does her laundry, maybe they got left in the machine… I don’t know who else they might belong to, I hope she doesn’t mind that I dried them and… that I’m bringing them to her…”

Pidge realized suddenly that Hunk was embarrassed by the clothing article, “Aw, Hunk, do you want me to come with you?”

“Please?” he asked.

“Of course.”

Together the yellow and green Paladins went to the control room where they knew Allura usually was around this time. They caught her talking to her mice, and she looked up at Hunk and Pidge when they entered, and finished up with the mice, “Remember what I told you.”

Squeaks of ascent followed and the mice scattered off, one of them stopping to give her a tiny salute. Allura spun around in her chair.

“Hello Hunk, Pidge.”

“Allura,” Hunk said, “I need to ask you something.”

“Of course,” she said with that pleasantly disarming smile.

“I was doing the laundry and I came across… I… I just… are these yours?” Hunk held out the panties with a finger carefully clasping each corner, his gaze slightly averted and a red-hot blush across his cheeks.

Allura looked at them, carefully concealing her amusement, “No, I’m sorry Hunk, they aren’t. Those are Earth undergarments I take it?”

Hunk nodded.

“They are,” said Pidge, “Women’s undies.”

Allura examined the item, lifting it out of Hunks hands and turning it around in her own, admiring the soft fabric and delicate embellishments, although it did seem alien to her. “Alteans do not wear such things in everyday practice, we long ago evolved past that, although,” she considered, “Some did for personal aesthetic or if their partner enjoyed the look.”

“So they must belong to another one of the Paladins,” concluded Pidge.

“I thought you said they are women’s undergarments,” said Allura.

Pidge shrugged while Hunk turned redder, “On Earth some men wear women’s underthings for the same reasons… they just like them. It’s a kink.”

“A kink?” asked Allura.

“You know, a fetish,” Pidge paused, “It’s a weird concept, I don’t even think I get it. But you know how some people like to be tied up or spanked or, like, nipple-clamps and stuff?” Pidge made an incomprehensible gesture in her chest area.

Hunk’s face was beet-red and he was nearly exploding from embarrassment at Pidge’s frank, matter-of-fact, talk about these matters. Wasn’t she, like, fourteen?! How did she know about these things?

“I think we have—had—something similar in Altea,” Allura nodded. She paused to consider for a moment, starting to grasp the gravity of the purple panties, her inner-gossip’s curiosity piqued, “But then… whose are they?”

It was a question for the ages, right up there with “who are we?” and “why?”. They all stopped to think about it.

“Well, Keith is keeping secrets,” Pidge reasons.

“Shiro would look good in purple,” Allura considers.

“My money is on Lance,” says Hunk.

“Lance?” asks Allura, and then they all consider that.

“You’re right,” Pidge agrees, “If any of them secretly wear women’s panties, it’s Lance.”

“Right. I’ll just… go ask him…” Hunk stutters.

“I’ll go with you,” Allura says.

“Me too,” says Pidge, eager to see the fallout.

* * *

When they encounter Lance with Keith in the training room sparring the potential for hilarious fallout grows.

“Hey Lance,” Pidge bounces in, the damned gremlin, “Hunk found something doing laundry.”

“Don’t tell me he put my satin briefs in the drier and ruined them, omigod Hunk, I told you…”

“No! They’re fine,” Hunk said quickly, “I just… I found another pair. Of underwear. I wanna know if they’re yours.”

Keith snorted, “If it’s a thong it’s definitely his.” He wouldn’t admit that he had thought of Lance in a mens thong, the slender strap going straight up his ass, the front carefully cradling his…

“Aretheseyours?” Hunk asked quickly, holding up the purple panties again, stretching each corner out so that they stretched as if they were on a person.

“Oh,” Lance paused, taking the panties and tugging on the sides, “Nope. Glad you didn’t put them through the drier either though, that would have ruined these.” Lance would know.

“Then whose?” Allura asked out loud.

“Keith?” Lance turned to him, grinning broadly, “These would fit you I think, and they’d look great against your pale skin…”

“I… what?” Keith’s brain nearly imploded, “NO! Those aren’t mine! Why would you even think that? Do I look like I’d wear women’s panties? What do you mean my pale skin?”   
“I was just asking,” Lance shrugged, mentally imagining Keith in those particular panties. He waggled his eyebrows, “They’d look good on you.”

“Well, they aren’t mine.” Keith huffed, crossing his arms across his chest.

“But then…” Pidge pondered.

“…they must be…” Hunk contemplated.

“Shiro’s!” Allura concluded. She had to admit that they would also fit him and that he would suit them nicely. Not that she considered what he would look like in them. The others seemed to share her thoughts as they exchanged awkward looks between each other. Shiro was… Shiro wouldn’t, but then, would he? They were purple and, well, he would look very good in them.

“It’s the only explanation,” Lance conceded.

“Onward then,” Hunk suggested, after an awkward pause. “I guess.”

* * *

Shiro was studying Altean on the couch in the lounge area. Because even though magic castle translation was a thing it didn’t help with reading Altean, and what would happen if their translation system suddenly broke down? It would be useful, and Shiro didn’t have enough to do or to worry about already, right? I mean, he only had as much on the go as Pidge. It helped when he didn’t want to sleep.

“Shiro?” Allura approached, //How is the studying going?// she asked in Altean.

//Such good,// he replied, //My grammar is working not still, although.//

Allura laughed her sparkling laugh, “It’s not an easy language to master. You’ll get it.”

“Hey Shiro,” Lance interrupted, “Hunk has a question.”

“Me?” Hunk asked. “I mean… why are the rest of you here then?” he turned to ask the other Paladins and Allura, “I think you just want to make this uncomfortable.”

“We’re a family Hunk,” Shiro said, “Nothing is uncomfortable. We have no secrets.”

“Then what are these?” Hunk held up the panties and everyone looked at them, and then to Shiro. Shiro blinked, taking them in.

“Those are women’s underwear.”

“Well, they aren’t mine,” said Pidge, “And they’re not Allura’s. Or Lance’s, or Keith’s.”

“They’re not mine,” Hunk said, “wouldn’t fit anyway.”

“I’m sorry,” Shiro repressed a grin, “But they’re not mine either.”

Everyone broke into muttering and accusations. Clearly someone was lying.

“I knew it!” Lance declared, “They really are yours Keith!”

“They are not!”

“Stop!” shouted Shiro, effectively silencing them all, “I know who they belong to.”

“Who?”

“Hey,” Shiro called through an open doorway, “Get in here.”

Coran floated in from the next room. He spotted the lacy undergarment in Hunk’s hands and his eyes lit up, “My undies! I was missing those. They're my favourite.”

He picked them up from Hunk’s shocked frozen fingers, “Thank you for drying them.”

“But where did he get them from?” Pidge wondered.

“And how did Shiro know they were his,” asked Hunk

The mystery of who owned the purple panties had been answered; however, in that answer even more questions were posed.

* * *


End file.
